Episode 295: Kathy Van Benthuysen

Episode 295: Navigating Technology and Parenting with Converlation

[00:00:30] Fonz: Hello everybody and welcome to another great episode of my ed tech life. Thank you so much for joining us on this wonderful day and wherever it is that you're joining us from around the world.

Thank you as always for all of your support. We appreciate all the likes, the shares, the follows. Thank you so much for engaging with our content and thank you so much to all our new YouTube subscribers. We really appreciate you sharing and engaging with the content and sharing it with the education space so we can all continue to learn together.

And I'm really excited to have a wonderful guest as always. We always find the best. And today I'm looking forward to this wonderful conversation today. I would love to welcome Kathy Van Ben thousand to the show, and we're going to be talking about convolation. All right. So this might be something that maybe you have not heard about yet, but trust me after today, I'm going to be talking about.

All of you are going to be jumping over to that website and I hope that you do because it is a wonderful, wonderful resource and you'll see what it's all about in just a second, because right now I would love to introduce you to Kathy here. Kathy, how are you doing this morning? 

[00:01:40] Kathy: I'm great. Alphonso, thank you so much for having me.

[00:01:43] Fonz: Thank you. Well, I really appreciate it. And before we do jump in, I do want to give a big shout out to our mutual friend, Derek. Thank you so much, Derek, for connecting us and making this connection here and to have this wonderful conversation. So I'm really excited about that. So Kathy, please give us a little brief introduction and what your context is within the education space.

[00:02:07] Kathy: So my name is Kathy. I won't even say my last name again because it's so long anyway. So I mean, most people call me KBB anyway. So I am a 20 year mom, a 30 year teacher, retired five years early. I'm an author, a coach and the president and a co creator of Converlation. And, Converlation is, We were a bunch of different names, but, , from focus groups of parents and, educators going through it when they talked about it.

They didn't actually talk about the individual experiences. What they talked about was how they have better, conversations. And as a result, better relationships through playing with words one day. And we were like, Hey, conversations, relationships. If we change the S in conversation to an L, we get correlation.

And that's how our name was born. 

[00:02:59] Fonz: Absolutely. That is, that is wonderful. Well, I must commend you too, for the years of service in education. That is amazing. 30 years, you said you retired five years early. Yes, I did. But 30 years that is amazing. I mean, no 

[00:03:12] Kathy: i'm i've retired five years like i'm still not to retirement age.

[00:03:15] Fonz: Oh, okay Yeah, 

[00:03:16] Kathy: like i'm I could have I would still have to go one more year to get to retirement age. So I retired actually this, like, I can tell you the story of our chair, but we can get to that later. 

[00:03:30] Fonz: Sounds great. But regardless, 30 years of service. That is wonderful that I have just started my 18th year of service.

I'm really excited. I mean, honestly, time does fly. I remember coming in into education. I came in from a marketing background and I remember teaching math and I had one of my mentors. Would walk by and he would just look at me teach. And he goes, man, he goes, if you keep doing it, teaching the way that you're doing, the years are going to fly.

And sure, they, they surely have flowed. So it's really exciting times. And of course, lots to talk about within the education space, but today our focus is confederation. So I'm really excited to hear. About what inspired you to go ahead and start convalescence. Tell us that story. 

[00:04:16] Kathy: So I'll tell you, this is the story that like gets me to that.

So, every day of my career, I would greet the kids at the door and I would say, good morning, Alfonso, how are you doing today? And I would expect two things, eye contact and a response. And in my first year teaching every single student on the first day of school was able to do those two things. Fast forward to my last year of teaching and one student, one student on the first day of school looked me in the eye and responded.

And I, I, I know there could be, different factors that contribute to this, but a part of it is technology. Kids have gotten so used to having their heads down in devices and we've normalized it. We say, oh, well, that's just how kids are. And I'm like, No, it's not because I taught fourth grade my entire 30 year career and 30 years ago, every single fourth grader could look you in the eye, they could communicate, they could have conversations and 30 years later they can't.

What's the difference? And for me, I started seeing this decline around when social media, when technology really started becoming more pervasive on the scene. When I saw that I'd already my husband and I already talked about it and prayed about it. Like, maybe, it might be starting not because I didn't love it because I truly loved loved teaching to my very last day.

But when I saw what technology was doing to kids, I was like, I can't. Sit back and watch and not try something. So, I had met my business partner actually through my husband, many years prior, probably about seven years ago. And he was in the space of helping parents, with their teens to kind of, cause parents are like, oh, how do we monitor tech of our kids?

And what he found was. It's really hard to kind of put hardware or software in a home or on devices because they just find a way around it, especially as teens. So, we decided to, kind of rejigger it and go more towards like eight to 14, hopefully before they're getting devices, getting social media and, really help parents to.

Kind of reduce that digital dependency that's in all of our lives. And, that's actually that's my for me. It was I can't look and watch what's happening with kids and not take a chance and help them in a bigger way because I know that through my 30 year career, let's say, there was a thousand kids that I impacted, but I feel like with Converlation, we can impact millions of people's lives doing this.

[00:06:56] Fonz: Oh, that is wonderful. And, I think that there really is a lot of truth to what you're saying. And I know. I, I started off as a high school teacher and at the time there wasn't a lot of the devices around, not a lot of students had their own devices at three years after that, when I moved down to elementary, I was working at an elementary that, is that it's a very high end area within our district.

And I was, I started teaching sixth grade. And I was like, wow, these sixth grade students have like better devices than I do, and that's because I'm a teacher and, they're coming in with tablets and so on. Now, I, I was one of those teachers that did engage a lot with, because at the time we didn't have devices, Chromebooks weren't around that time.

But I did use some of the things like, Hey, let's go outside. We're going to record since I was a science teacher. Let's do our observations. They take pictures, see some of the greenery, and then we come back and then you're going to go ahead and, do stuff with your journal and things of that sort.

So I, I did. Find an effective use of the technology at that given time. And again, I'm one of those two that I, as long as the student is engaged, but engaged in a proper way and not just on social media and jumping around and trying to get those dopamine hits. I mean, that is so difficult to balance.

And I know that that is the conversation nationwide. I mean, as you're starting to see a lot of schools that before were okay, bring your own device because we're going to use it You know, within the school district or for engaging students and lessons, it really hasn't turned out that way because now still a lot of teachers maybe don't use the tech as much, or maybe they don't know how they can engage the students with that.

And it's very difficult too, because. Of the time during COVID and, students were, on screens the whole time and just a lot of stuff happening. But before we get a little bit into more of that, can you walk us through about, the key principles behind conversation? I know you talked a little bit about, as far as the communication skills, we're talking about, how students are just really just Looking down and there's, we're lacking that eye contact, that firm handshake, just, those soft skills.

So walk us through some of those principles a little bit as far as, what you're trying to do through convalescent. 

[00:09:12] Kathy: So for us, we, we find that like anything, if Behavior needs or it has to be changed. It's done through education. So think about like smoking and when a smoke when like, you know, cigarettes first came out, people didn't know that it was bad.

I mean, maybe they did, but and it's the education where you. show them what happens to their bodies. And then you go, Oh, okay, well now I understand. And people still smoke, but at least they're more educated. The same thing with anything with, with alcohol. We, we know how it impacts our bodies. So then when you're educated, you can make better decisions.

And we find it's the same thing with with technology. I mean, you will never hear us say tech is bad to put it away to stop using it because we think tech is an amazing tool when you use it just like that as a tool, not as merely entertainment. So what we do is we help to Give parents and kids that knowledge that they need so that they can make healthy choices about their technology.

We explain to them that there are attention engineers behind the scene whose very job it is to keep your eyeballs on devices so that they make money. We explain to them about dopamine and how it's created and how it impacts us. We talk about Ins and outs of technology so that kids can say, Oh, okay, now I kind of get why my parents are like, I don't want you on this.

But we find with parents and I get this is if we don't know something as parents, we often fall back to well, because I told you so. You can't have it because I told you so. But we know that that's not, that's never going to be a solid answer. Maybe when the kids are five, but when they're eight, when they're 10, when they're 13, that's not an answer.

So when the parents can be educated and be able to give reasons and have the kids come on board with it, that actually helps to change behavior. We had We've gone into this school that had gone through convolation and it was a fifth grade class and we kind of did a little focus group with them. And this one kid, he said, you know, I thought you were one of those companies that was going to say, tech is bad, put it away, stop using it.

And he goes, cause that's what my mom says. And he goes, but because you didn't, he goes, I actually listened when my teacher went through the experiences. And he said, I I've actually, I'm on my phone less. Because I realized like what they're doing to us. So it for us, it's about educating and giving the parents the knowledge that they need.

And we've and you know, because you're in this space, there is so much with technology and it's, it's, Coming at us faster and faster and rapidly changing that people don't really educate themselves on it because there's just so much. So it's like, oh, well, everyone else is doing it. So it must be okay, but it's not.

And so that's what we do. We do the research. And we, we are reading the studies, the CDC reports, and that's what we give to people is to help them to understand what's happening because we can't just say it's going to work out. We grew up with television and look how we turned out, but it's not the same thing because when we had television, we would watch a show.

And then, wah, wah, we had to wait till the next week to be able to find out the cliffhanger. That's not like that anymore. You can binge watch. You are constantly fed all of this information that we can't even handle. Even as adults, we struggle with saying, okay, you know what, I need to put this away. And our brains are fully developed, how much harder is it for a child who doesn't have a fully developed brain and say, you know what, just just stop using it.

Just just put it away. Take a digital fast. That's like, that's not happening. 

[00:13:26] Fonz: No, no, no, it's not. And, you know, you mentioned a lot of great things. And the number one thing that I do absolutely love is. the why, and that you are out there helping parents, helping teachers and helping students understand the why we should, like you said, take a break from the device, take it, have a digital fast, just also just the, the dangers of social media and, talking about digital citizenship.

And that's one of the things that I do as a coordinator for digital learning, I partner up with our Parent engagement specialist. And like I was mentioning to you in the pre chat, we have these talks with parents where we talk about that. And we talk about some of the dangers that occur, at such an early age, when students at a very young age are playing games like roblox or playing fortnight and the dangers that go through there, the grooming that happens that, I recently saw a video.

And this happened two years ago, and I was like, oh my goodness, that there was a gentleman that had stalked a young lady from the age of six all the way to the age of 14, I believe, and was following her social media because her parents kept posting a lot of things on social media too as well, and then he created a fake account, and, and then up until the age of 14, then he tried to make contact with her, and of course, luckily he did get arrested, But there's a lot of dangers that are out there as soon as we're, getting on these phones.

And one thing that you mentioned too is how rapid the technology is changing because now we've got these AI chat bots and there are some studies now that are showing how students are, spending hours and hours with these, Artificial intelligence friends, on social media, and they're completely disconnected from the real world and spending more time just chatting away with a chat bot that they have given a human like quality to, and are just, sharing away information. And so that is something that is very dangerous to as well. So I want to ask you, in your experience, and I know I mentioned a couple of things that I know that we talk about here within our school district, but for you, what is it that you're seeing as you're visiting campuses and talking to parents and students?

What are some of the most common challenges that parents are facing when When it's when it comes to managing their kids tech. 

[00:15:44] Kathy: So, we've been we've been to multiple schools. One was actually a chat. It was actually about this book. And they asked the Anxious Generation. So, because I was like, oh, wait, maybe people can't say it.

And it was around kids mental health and how kids brains are being rewired as a result of this. Of their use on and it's not just when we when it's not just social media, it's gaming and the videos and all of it. And we had in the in the one school there were, you know, this one, there was more than 80 parents that showed up and the principal's like, we only get like, like, Seminary people that show up.

We went to a back to school night that's rolling out convolation. And again, we were going to talk about it. And there was over a hundred people that showed up and what, what we hear from parents all the time is we don't know how to deal with this. We don't know how to manage it. And so the answer for them is, Well, if everybody else is doing it my kid is a good kid.

They're doing well in school. So it must be okay. I had a, I had a parent come up to me at at one of the after one of the talks and she was almost in tears and she said, I am petrified. My, my daughter's in fifth grade and I am petrified because I have no idea what to do. And I just put my hand on her shoulder and I was like, it's okay.

That's what we do. We'll, we'll help. And we actually have so with, we, we developed these two guides. They're, they're for free right now. And one is called social media simplified, know the app, speak the language, and it's a parent's guide to help them talk the language that their kids, like, these are the platforms kids are living on Snapchat, Instagram, Reddit, And what we do is we did is we broke it down and so that you were going to tell you, like, why do your kids love these platforms so much?

What are some tips to help, manage or not eliminate the risks, but to help be ahead of the risks? Tips to manage their privacy. Questions that you can have conversations around with your kids. We even give a glossary and the questions actually have like these terms that, so if you just say to your kid, Oh, what are you doing on TikTok?

They're going to be like, what ebbs mom? Like you don't know it, but if you're actually speaking the TikTok language, kids are gonna be like, Oh wait, my mom does know about this. And we did the same thing. We have a second guide for gaming. And it's gaming simplified, and we go through Roblox Fortnite and Minecraft.

And again, telling parents, like, why do your kids love it? How can you manage their, manage their privacy? How can you have conversations around it? And giving parents these tools so that they can, and, and like, I don't care that we developed. It looks amazing. Like our designer did such a fantastic job and they look so phenomenal.

And, but they, it's the information inside. It's the education that they are, you know, given. And, and this is what parents, what parents need. And that's, that's what I hear all the time is like, we just don't know, we don't know what to do. And we had one father stand up in the back and he goes, I have an idea.

Can we just throw out their devices? Just throw them out so they can't even and I said, but that's that's it. Just it. We think if we throw them away. Oh, well, that's it. It's done. But it's not because they can go to a friend's house where the device isn't gone. They find ways around it. So it's better if we educate and we teach them how to come alongside and Live with technology.

It's not going away. Like, you know, genie's out of the bottle. The cat's out of the bag. It's not happening. So instead of fighting so much against it, maybe we can come alongside and show, like, how do we work with it? 

[00:19:57] Fonz: And I think that's something that's great that always puts parents kind of at ease because I understand the frustration because, I've been doing, or we've been doing these sessions for about the last five years.

And that's one of the biggest things, like, why can't we just take it away? And it's always just going back to, Hey, let's have this conversation and now explain to them the why, you know? And so we'll share resources much like you have. So I'm really excited about your website. And now that you mentioned these resources, we'll definitely make sure that we link them on the episode and that we share those also as well.

That way people can go ahead and see these guides. Just, to at least have a starter because I am sure that there are many parents out there that are, and even as educators, even having conversations with our own kids, to be able to talk to them and letting them know, some of the things to look out for and the dangers.

And, again, going back to having those conversations with them, which is excellent. And so I'm really excited about that for sure.

[00:20:53] Kathy: It is like our, like our name, conversation, having conversations, strengthening relationships. I mean, that's what it goes back to. I mean, think about it, Alphonso and anything you don't want to, like, I know as an adult, we don't want to be just told what to do, but even kids don't want to just be told, well, This is what you have to do.

And it's because I'm a parent. You have to. It's those conversations because here's the thing. You can mandate things in your home and say, this is the way it is. You're in a home. Okay. That that's fine. But the thing is, if you don't explain the why to your child, the moment they're outside of your house, They are going to behave differently because they're not bought into it.

And that that's what we want. Like we used to, my husband and I, I won't name the television show when our kids were little. There was a television show is a cartoonish and we thought it was, you know, Kind of disrespectful and we didn't want our kids watching it and we explained why I mean when I say our kids like One was five one was one so it wasn't like, you know So we're going to like it was here's why this is why mommy and daddy don't want it and I They would go to my, my parents house and, you know, for whatever, for just to go hang out with, grandma, grandpa, or, go to my sister's house and they would be like, Oh, do you want to watch the show?

And my, my daughter would say, no, we, we don't watch it because, and then give them the reason why. And my mom called me, she's like, oh my gosh, she's, she goes, I didn't realize the show was on when they walked in. And I put the car seat down with our son facing, towards the television. And my daughter went around and turned it the other way and took a book out and started reading.

Cause she's like, we're not supposed to be watching this show. And I was like, that's because we had a conversation. I could have said. Like my husband and I both could have said, you can't watch it because we said so. But then when she went to mama and papa's house, they absolutely would have been watching it.

And that's, that's what I'm saying. Like, if you can have those conversations and when kids understand, Oh, this is why they're not just saying it because. They're the meanest parents in the world. They're saying it because they love me, and now I understand. 

[00:23:12] Fonz: Oh, I absolutely love that. I love that so much because, and that is so important.

That is really just, when we do these sessions too, it all comes down to that. Just having those honest, truthful conversations. And I think oftentimes it just, and especially dealing with topics, you know, with social media and a lot of the things that occur on social media, I think sometimes parents are a little uncomfortable because it's like, wow, like we're talking about things that maybe they feel very uncomfortable with, but you know, this is something that the students, that their young kids are already exposed to.

So what better way to just equip the parents to as well, giving them the resources that they need to be able To really have these conversations at home. And like you mentioned here, be able to have their son or daughter go out and make good choices and understand why they shouldn't do what they may be about to do, or maybe because, they hang out with their friend groups and, peer pressures and things of that sort, but at least they make the better choice.

And I always tell parents. If with these resources that we share with you and you're having, these conversations with your kids, if we can just get them to pause for about two seconds before they click post, upload, or send that can save so much trouble in the future. As far as even losing scholarships, you know, obviously getting into trouble with the law, getting suspended things that will affect them in the future.

And can close doors for them. And so those conversations are definitely very important. So that's wonderful. And that's such a great story that you mentioned there and the importance of explaining the why. So I want to ask you, 

[00:24:48] Kathy: I have to tell you, sorry, one thing, you just made me think of something. So when.

When parents went like they'll have like allow. So I said I taught fourth grade. So those are nine going on to ten and There were kids on social media and like I know that they were because they were they would talk about it And I think parents think like, oh, well, it's not a big deal They're only you know, they're only posting little pictures or they're watching cat videos.

But here's the thing So we were having snack one day And two girls were talking in the back of the room and the one turned to the other and goes, Oh, I can't wait to get home to check my Insta to see how many hearts I had. And the other little girl goes, You shouldn't be on Instagram. You're too young.

Here's the thing. Here's this nine year old who's supposed to be engaged in my fourth grade classroom where we're learning language arts and math and doing some science stuff and writing. And her thought is At 10 30 in the morning. I can't wait to get home. This is what my thought is, is what did I post you to get enough hearts and likes?

But it's beyond. It's beyond that. Let's say that she got home that day and she didn't get as many hearts and likes and comments as she wanted. And now she feels bad about herself. Where have I fallen short? What, what do I need to do differently? They're nine, they're 10. That shouldn't be, that shouldn't be what they're thinking about.

And so that's why these conversations need to be had because first of all, I'm going to, well, I, they shouldn't be on social media at nine and 10, but the thing is, is it impacts them emotionally in ways that I don't even know if we truly understand yet, because, you know, like we didn't grow up with all this.

We didn't grow up with all these devices. Thank goodness we didn't have social media when we were growing up, but they do. And now we're, we're altering how they view the world. It's hard enough to grow up being a kid, especially going through those like tween and teen years. It's, it's hard enough without having social media, without having all of this input to them all the time.

So, sorry, I just had no, 

[00:27:03] Fonz: no, but actually, and that kind of led up to the next question. Actually, you, you kind of already touched a little bit on that, too, because I was going to ask you, how do you see the effects of technology on children's social behavior and mental health? And you kind of hit the nail on the head.

They're already kind of segwaying into this, which is, the impact that it has on them emotionally. Because they may not get enough likes. And like you mentioned, it's, it's a self esteem thing. And then of course, you've got other friends that are on social media and now they're sharing like, Hey, my posts got this much and my posts got that much.

And, and, you know, being on social media myself and seeing some of these, creators, because now everybody wants to be a creator and, and the extremes that they go to just to get those likes, those shares, those follows. And. The dream is, Oh, I just want to be a content creator and just make millions off of Tik TOK and people viewing my videos and things of that sort.

The, the stress that a lot of them go, into, because even for myself, and I've talked about this with other friends that are in education that Also have podcasts and, and, we put our stuff on socials and things of that sort, the, the amount of work that goes in behind the scenes that people don't see that when we finally put something up on social media, that is polished.

And people think like, Oh my gosh, look at what, what they did and their video did this and so on. It's like, but you don't know the amount of work that goes behind all of that. And, and even sometimes a little stressful because, sometimes, we, we have as far as dates when we release episodes and things of that sort, I'm a really little bit more laid back where I'm just like, Hey, it'll come out when it comes out and we're good, but still there is a lot of work that goes behind it.

And so a lot of those creators, you see that. They burn out very quickly, and these are still young men and women that are very young, and they already, are dealing with a lot of emotional issues and things of that sort, and then even to have, like you mentioned, ninth graders, I remember being a sixth grade teacher, and at the time, Students, the, the wall, I always told them the walls have ears, but in reality, they were just so open about talking about everything so loud.

And they're like, Oh, we were in the WhatsApp chat till 2 AM. And so on. And I was thinking to myself, this is not. Normal, like this is something that should not be happening at 2 a. m. That students are on WhatsApp chats. And then I see them come in the following morning and they're like all sleepy and drowsy.

And then there's a lot of drama between the little friend groups because of things that are going on in these chats. And even firsthand, when I moved from sixth grade to fifth grade, saw the same thing where. We started off with a group of five friends by the end of the year, those five friends were now broken up into like two groups and they didn't get along because of social media and a lot of the bullying that occurred.

And we even had an incident where, we had to. Bring parents in and things of that sort, because you visibly saw this wonderful young student that was so peppy and just so much energy smiles all the time that towards the end of the year, she was just sad the whole time, very, withdrawn.

And so those are a lot of things that I observed too, as a teacher. And so a lot of stuff happening there. And so as far as social behavior. And mental health as well. 

[00:30:28] Kathy: And when, so I, I have two things on that. So you think about this, we were growing up and all right, so I'm going to, we'll use you and I as an example, and we're like, we're really good friends.

And I have a birthday party, but I don't actually want to invite you. So I invite. Other people to my birthday party and it happens. My birthday party happens on a Saturday and all these other friends come over and we go to, we get to school on Monday and we're sitting at lunch together and people are like, Oh my gosh, Kathy, that, that your birthday party was so great.

And you're like, you had a birthday party. You didn't invite me. And so now you're a little upset. You might be a little annoyed. You might be a little hurt. You might say something to me. We go out to recess and you, you're probably gonna start forgetting about it. And then we don't hear about it anymore because it's done.

We didn't have to worry that it wasn't in your face. You didn't have to hear about it when you got home and you go and check your Instagram and be like, Oh, look at all those pictures that Kathy posted. We didn't do that. We just, we had the party and it was done. Now, of course I would invite you to my party.

However, now I have this party and I'm like, Oh, let's take selfies. Let's get this post pictures. And now you, you don't find out about it. You find out about it almost in real time and you're now you're hurt and that's what happens is these kids are coming to school and they're, they've spent all weekend hearing about all these great things that happened that they weren't a part of and it's because My second point here is the highlight reels.

That's one of the things that we actually go through with convolation. It's one of the experiences that we take through kids. It's, it's called highlight reels because that's what we do. We're not going to, I'm not going to tell you that. I mean, I did tell you that I, you know, wash my hair this morning and then went out and got saturated again, but, but I could post a picture later and be like, look, it was a great day.

My hair turned out like this. I first woke up in the morning and you're like. Hey, I know that's not true. You, you posted that picture after after your hair was dry and you put hairspray in it or something, because we do that all the time. We post what's best. And so I'm going to post about my great vacation in Aruba.

You're going to post about yours, the ski vacation that you went on with your family. And there are people who maybe can't afford it. Who's, for whatever reason, they're not doing certain things. And yet we look at it then and go, well, Wh what's wrong with me? What's wrong with my life? My life isn't like that.

And we know in reality that people are only posting high rate reels, but it doesn't make us feel better. It doesn't make us emotionally say, Oh, well, it's okay. I know what their life is really like because we're still seeing it. on a regular basis. We're being inundated. If I got into an argument with you at school, I go home and now we're both safe.

We don't have to talk about it anymore. We can, we can like deescalate the situation. Maybe our parents give us some advice about it and maybe we come back together the next day and we can talk about it. But that's not how it is. We go home and now people are like, Oh man, Alfonso and Kathy got a fight at school and now there's this whole text thread and that's being sent to other people and you can't, they can't get away from it anymore.

Like you can't even be, you can't even be a kid anymore because everything is constantly in your face in front of you. And these kids, like they, they have no downtime. Like you said, Oh, we're on the WhatsApp to 2am. You're like, Okay, well, now we no wonder that you're tired. No wonder that you can't focus.

No wonder that you're not focused on school because, you're just chatting with your friends about who knows what at 2 a. m. 

[00:34:17] Fonz: Yeah. And, and, like you mentioned too, it's like they're constantly on the device, even at school. I mean, you see so many videos that are taking place at school during school hours and, and P and students are posting it up.

Like nobody's business, it doesn't matter. It's like, Hey, I'm here at school, but look at what I'm doing. You know, taking video, whether they're doing sports or whether they're whatever other things they're doing. And you're thinking to yourself like, wow, like they're just constantly on social media. So then.

Where is the learning taking place? So, you see a lot of that happening. And so again, going back to the parents, having those conversations is something that is very, very important. Now, one thing that I did learn recently, there, there is a website also that is done by Homeland Security that talks a little bit about, you know, social media and the dangers of social media.

And there's this gentleman who's an officer who gave a talk and we One thing that he did mention is the use of social media is or devices, is a little bit more prevalent that he sees at least here within our area. And it could be just, I don't know those just specific to our area or specific to the United States, but it was being in single parent households.

Where that's where they saw that there was more use of social media with the students, because parent has to work student is at home. So student is just, going, opening up and, you know, just being on social media the whole time. So some of the stats that are there too, as well, however, going back to what you're talking about and what you are offering through convolation You know, being able to have those tools for the parents to be able to have those talks with the students.

And I think that's something that is important. So I kind of want to, go to kind of wrap up a little bit and just kind of round things out because we hit on a little thing that you mentioned earlier with technology also moving as fast as it is. How do you see? Convolution adapting to all of this, how fast the tech is moving.

So tell us a little bit about maybe a little, that vision that you may have. 

[00:36:20] Kathy: So, we have we actually have like a curriculum that we have in schools for fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade and eighth grade, because, we say , it's not a diet. You don't want to, do it for 30 days and now you're good.

Everything's going to be fine. And then you just, you know, end up gaining all the weight back. So we have a curriculum for each, you know, those grade levels, because we, we said that in fifth grade, you can have those deep conversations. And then it's just an each grade level, the, the content gets a little bit, you know, a little deeper and a little harder hitting.

And for us, we say like, We know that like right now we're in development of like content about A. I. Because that's that stuff that we see. And that is prevalent. So what we do is we look at, like, the trends that are happening, and then we can develop content Based on what we're seeing. And then also, so like that's in schools, but for for parents, we have a, we just, it's a subscription model and they can sign up for like 6 months 12 months or 18 months.

And in that, that's even like a little bit more fluid because we're providing. Information and like, yeah, information and knowledge on a weekly basis, and it's almost going to be even more topical than like what we have in schools. I mean, schools is I know it's amazing because we have schools going through it and saying, like, it's really making an impact on kids and we can.

Change as we see the need, we can change topics in and out on any of the grade levels as necessary. But for parents, for them, they can get stuff on a, on a, on a really on a weekly basis that is relevant, that is front and center to what they are experiencing. I think you had said in the beginning, about these, you know, someone had, you know, like, basically stalked this girl all this time. And there are, there's so much out there that, there, there's these scams where, you know, this, these, it's a guy, really, but he's pretending to be a girl. And he gets this, you know, teenage kid to send him, you know, they befriend each other.

And, oh, like, oh, she's really nice. And this is great. And. He sends pictures of a girl and says, Oh, just reciprocate, send something back. If you really like me, you'll send it back. And he does. And then they're like, okay, and now game on. Now you're going to send me money. Cause if you don't send me money now, I'm going to, I'm going to put this out to all your social sites, all your friends, your family, everyone's going to know that you sent me these inappropriate pictures.

And one of the kids do. they, some of them end up paying it. I know that kids have taken their own life because of, of, of situations like this. And those are the things like you and I are in this world and we can say, Oh yeah, I've heard of this. Do you know that I have told parents that story and parents are like, I didn't know this was happening or where you can take, I can take a picture of of a, of a group of people and if there's undressing apps and they can be undressed and it's still their face.

It doesn't matter that it's not there, but you know what? That gets out. You're going to say, Oh man, what's that group doing? Why are they sending out these inappropriate pictures? And it happened in a school in New Jersey where this group had You know, with some pictures posted online, someone took them, they put it through an undressing app and put it back on social media.

And when I tell parents that story, they're like, wait, I didn't know that happened. It things like this happen all the time. And that's what we can do is we can provide this so you could. So now you can make more of an educated decision and a choice on how you want to Your family to interact with technology and and however that may be, but you need the information so that you're not just saying, Oh, everybody else is doing.

It must be. Okay. They're a good kid. 

[00:40:24] Fonz: Excellent. Yeah, that definitely have a lot of stuff there and you're absolutely right. And again. It's like, cause we're in this bubble, so we know it, but the parents, like you said, it's always very surprising. I mean, even, a lot of the talks that I had with parents in here, in our demographic area, I live like in the southernmost tip of Texas, the Rio Grande Valley and everything is a celebration.

I mean, it's a birthday party. Huge celebration. It is a baptism, huge celebration. And so oftentimes what happens is I would tell parents here in our area. I said, I know that you have parties and we know that you like to take pictures and there there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking some pictures, but here in our area, there's usually pictures with, a table full of, bottles and services and things of that sort.

And and it's always the red solo cups and things of that sort. And, and oftentimes. The students are, are there with the parents and they've got the cups. And I said, look, it's all about the perception too, as well. You know, we need to think about what kind of image or perception you want to give away on social media.

So although the group may have orange juice, it could be Coke. It could be Dr. Pepper. It doesn't even matter what's in there because it's all in the perception. So we need to be very cautious with those things as well. And I talked to parents too, that are parents of athletes. And I said, you know, It, I know that you want to celebrate your child's accolades if they're in a swimming and they've got these medals.

And I said, but please be very cautious with the types of pictures you're taking because you know, the let's, you know, for swim, I mean, the athletic wear is very minimal, you know? Yeah. I mean, if for any sport and for a lot of sports and especially with girls sports too, as well, I said, you need to be very cautious of the types of pictures media that you're posting up.

It's so great to celebrate. It's okay to celebrate the accolades, but just be very cautious with that. Because like you mentioned, you know, somebody with a malice in their heart can easily grab that picture and put it through these apps and then re uploaded and share it and so on. And Can cause a lot of mental harm, obviously, emotional harm.

And, and that's something that we need to be very cautious about. So I'm glad that you brought up these points because this is something that is very important and I'm thankful for you, my friend, through convolation and the work that you're doing in helping inform parents through this and, and about this and also working with students.

So that is something that is very powerful. So I'm really excited to see. You continue to grow and see, what the next steps are. And so I'm definitely going to keep an eye out. And as always, once you are a guest of my tech life, you always have an open invite to come back. So maybe we can do a follow up, maybe when the next big update comes about, and then just till we continue.

So we can continue to share these wonderful conversations and resources with parents, because it's something that is very much needed. So thank you so much for joining me this morning. I really appreciate it. 

[00:43:17] Kathy: Thank you so much. This was, this was wonderful. You, you are a great host. It was like, this was like nothing.

I can't believe one hour. I was almost passed. 

[00:43:27] Fonz: I know. I know. I love it. Time flies when you're having fun. All right, my friend. Well, before we wrap up, I always love to end the show with the last three questions. So here we go. All right. As we know. Every superhero has a weakness or a pain point. And as we know for Superman kryptonite was his weakness.

So I want to ask you in the current state of, well, I don't, I normally use education, but I guess we can do education in education. What would you say is your current. Ed you kryptonite. 

[00:44:04] Kathy: So I would say you had spoken about it in the beginning of the show with districts banning cell phones and listen, I'm in there, you're in there.

I'm not saying that it wouldn't be helpful, but what I find is there is so much pushback from parents because they're not involved in the conversation because they don't understand. I think and it puts a lot on the teachers because I just had a back to school night and some teachers are like, oh, I don't even want the device in my classroom.

Other teachers are like, oh, they can bring it in. And if they show they're responsible. So, even within a school, the rules are all different. I think there needs to be more conversation because I find that this is a. very hot topic. And some parents are like, I don't care. I don't care what they say. I'm having my kid have the device.

And other people are like, no, just paying it all out. And I think it's like we said back in the beginning, it's, we need to have these conversations. So for me, that in education, I find is going to be. Kind of a kryptonite because I don't know if just banning it is the answer. 

[00:45:16] Fonz: There you go. I think you're absolutely right.

I think what happens, and I'm a big proponent of this is the learning community. And oftentimes I, I feel that a lot of school districts don't include the parents within the term learning community. It's usually, just, from superintendent down to student only, but the learning community should also Be or be comprised of your parents.

And they're very important because also if it wasn't for the parents, we wouldn't have a job if we wouldn't have a school. So we need to make sure that we bring them in. And you said, you're absolutely right. Build those relationships and have those conversations. Maybe have some conversations. Yes, 

[00:45:53] Kathy: nicely done, Alfonso.

[00:45:56] Fonz: Ah, there you go. All right, here we go. Question number two, my friend, if you could have, or actually I should say, if you could trade places with one person for a day, who would it be and why? 

[00:46:11] Kathy: I, I like been thinking about this one and I would say. I would want to trade places, so it's not necessarily a person, but it is the developers of this technology.

Actually, I'm going to say it's getting it's not a part. It's a attention engineer who's like job. It is. I said, to keep people on devices because I want to see what is their thought process. Like, why do they think this is a good idea that they should be doing this? To all of us. So that's who I wanna trade places.

'cause I wanna know like, why do you, why are you doing what you do? 

[00:46:52] Fonz: Yeah. That, that is a great, great reply in response to this question. 'cause even right now I'm intrigued and I wanna do some more research too. These attention engineers and I have heard the term, but I just never, it's kind of skipped my mind and it's one of those things that now you've brought back up and it would be something great.

To know more about to even share those resources with parents too, as well to have them understand like, Hey, this is what their thought processes are, what their goals are. And this is how they're doing or grabbing your, your kid's attention and having them spend hours on social media or in a particular app.

So that is a great, great reply. All right. And the last question is, if you could have a billboard with anything on it. What would it be and why? 

[00:47:38] Kathy: Okay, so that, that one was easy for me. This is my immediate thought was don't let your kids on social media until at least the age 16. Because when kids are on social media, and I know it's not, you're not supposed to be, because you're supposed to be 11 or 13.

They're not. They're on it at 8, 9, 10. Wait until they're 16, because 8, 9, 10 year olds, they don't have the emotional intelligence. They don't have the ability to handle that. Oh, people don't like me. I'm not getting enough likes and comments. And that's not good. They, they just their, their prefrontal cortex isn't developed enough where they can handle like that emotional part.

That isn't great. And so, but when you wait till they're like 16, they actually can handle a little bit better because they understand. Oh, you know what? I know what real friends are because these kids when, you know what? There's people on, on, whatever platforms you're on are not your friends.

They're not the people in real life are your friends. So that'd be my billboard. Wait till 16 to get social media. 

[00:48:46] Fonz: Absolutely. Thank you so much. Well, I really appreciate this time. It has been wonderful. And I'm just really excited to edit this show. And I, there's so many great soundbites that I can't wait to share on social media.

Also as well. And again, Guys, convolution. com. Make sure that you visit and we'll definitely be able to link up all the resources too, as well. So you'll be able to find that on all the show notes. So thank you as always for joining us today on our amazing show. And please make sure that you visit our website at my ed tech dot life, where you can check out this amazing episode and the other 294.

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